Heated Patience

Hi ya'll before we get started let me first warn ya. I write just like I talk and tell it like it is, that's just me. If you are offended by strong language/cuss words stop right here.

This is one of my longer writings and it will take some time to read but I think you will find it's well worth it. So pull up a chair, have a sitdown and enjoy....

Okay here ya go ya'll a write up bout my Friday. A true test of patience on a virtue I lack. I woke up Friday morning feeling full of energy. Perhaps the meds are workin since I didn't wake up wracked with pain in my legs and back and not the internal, wicked fatigue. I've taken this med before for that sole purpose of having more energy and keeping me off my addiction to carbs and snacking. I lost 50 lbs last summer taking this stuff. Never felt better, looked better. At 43 I felt 15 years younger. Only problem it can make me switch phase into a full blown manic mode.

The stuff is like speed to me turning me into the engerizer bunny. Feeling good this Friday morning I had already had my Friday night planned out. My usual beers, get a buzz going, talk on phone with good friend and maybe peek in on at an ongoing private online conference that takes place on Friday nights.

I did my usual morning thing of waking up to a caffeinated beverage and readin/replyin to emails, peekin in at my discussion forum, etc. It's how I pysche myself up for the day. My hair needed to be buzzed again. I usually do it once a week on Sunday's. I missed last Sunday and that shaved/buzzed look and delineation of my USMC high and tight was starting to grow in and fade.
I decided to cut my hair Friday morning before work. Something just told me to do it so I did. Buzzed my head, trimmed beard which had grown thick and scraggly by now.
I didn't like the belly I was seeing in the mirror... WOW!!! all that good eatin, cookin and snackin I do not to mention my favorite Friday night thing is to unwind and let down from the week and have some beers

My usual fartin around I do in the mornings I didn't get out the door until 10:30 a.m. I'm just not a mornin person ya'll. Mornins totally suck!!! I was sickened to see a lawn sevice truck pulling out onto the highway at 7:10 this morning with his work crew in back of pick. God damned sick bastard!!!.. LOL...the only part functioning on me was keepin my eyeballs open at that hour. Takes everything I can to feed the dogs and give the right dog the right feed bowl in the mornin.

Granted if I started work early and this is what I been told for Years!!!! I could be done early. I have tried that but I just can't move and get motivated that time in the morning.
Besides, fire up a lawn mower, weed eater or back pack blower in my yard at 7:30 a.m and I'd be makin that blower fit up someones rectal opening!!
Oh yeah..did I say I wasn't a morning person?? I can be quite crotchity. I just hang and chill by myself wakin up. No t.v. on, no radio as I really don't like noise first thing in the morning just kinda agitates me.

So I set out 10:30 a.m. amidst a darkening tropical sky. Weather forecast called for 40% chance of showers/thunderstorms, typical forecast for the summer rainy season. It was just one big dark cloud from overhead and to the west over the Gulf waters. It looked like a few miles south traveling on the Overseas Highway and as usual a hot, blasting sun would be broiling the landscape. A light drizzle started as I got into my truck. Won't be rainin where I have to work today which was 6-7 miles down the road.
I pulled out onto the Oveseas Highway from my subdivision. Skies were black to the west over the water and a beautiful dark curtain of rain could be seen over the water. This is worth a photo I thought. Tried pulling off the highway at a place called the Carribean Club a famous Key Largo landmark and well known in a Humphrey Bogart movie. Dag nab it.. a myriad of boat trailers, weirdly parked vehicles left me no place to park my truck and trailer. I cursed the trailer and cussed bout there being "way too many humans" round here. Not wanting to fill my day with negative thoughts I banished that from my head. I pulled back on the Overseas Highway, southbound traffic was very heavy. Afterall it is Friday and the weekenders I reckon were already coming down from Miami-Ft Lauderdale and the Palm Beaches.

Driving down the road the skies looked very benign with a thin line of dark clouds following the Island chain. The sun was peeking out here and there. A typical Island Cumulus line was forming. Happenes frequently but rarely does anything form outta it lasting for very long.

I had a vision in my head of a lightning bolt coming out of the not so threatening looking clouds then hearing the explosive peel of thunder. It was about 20 seconds later right where I saw that lightning bolt if one didn't strike!!!.. I'll be dipped in shit!!! and it was followed by a very loud explosive rumble.
Then another vision of a bolt hitting right next to me making a god awful noise. 20-30 seconds later as I was pulling up to one of our two traffic lights here on the Island a massive bolt blasted down into the tropical hardwood trees in the shopping center parking lot!!!!. WAAAPANNG!!!!!... WOW!!! that was close.

I suddenly had visions of numerous lightning bolts one after another. I had two more miles to drive before I stopped at the bank to make a deposit.
Suddenly I had a vision of Firefighters dressed in full Turnout gear, it was fleeting but I wondered why it popped into my head like that. Perhaps having a gear fetish myself and I was maybe rehashing a t.v. show I watched two nights prior of a man inventing a product, he's a firefighter and was dressed in full turnout gear. Dunno but my my mind races like that and jumps from thought to thought.

Lightning bolts were coming down all around me. I rolled the truck window down so I could hear the thunder... COOL!!!! I yelled out. Big drops of rain started splattering the windshield. The small line of dark clouds had suddenly grown. A line of thunderstorms was in explosive development overhead and I mean explosive.

Okay JD I said to myself.. are you controlling the weather again?? If so let's aim and hit the real tall radio tower that stands in the middle of the Overseas Highway. I was now sitting in the turnabout waiting to cross over the northbound lane of the highway to pull into the shopping plaza where the bank was at. I had no choice but to look south at the oncoming traffic. Traffic was friggin horrendous!!! for northbound on a Friday. God Damned lobster mini season just ended so I reckon those folk were headin back and others resltess. The Island chain has been crammed to the gills with folk coming down for the two day mini lobster season. Waiting for a break in traffic to make my dash across the highway, huge drops of rain had really picked up tempo now. Radio tower in plain view... and but 1/4 mile down the road.

Suddenly a very large lightning bolt followed by a very explosive sharp crack literally split the sky. The radio tower got hit!!! and it was like a firehose got unleashed as a wall of large raindrops descended down. Wipers going on fast it was hard to see now crossing the highway. Pulling into the parking lot another very loud crack, a bolt hit behind the Ramada Inn. Seconds later another explosive sky shattering crash. WOW!!! this is getting interesting.

I lived in the subdivsion behind this shopping center many years ago. They always get very intense lightning here,dunno why but they do.
I parked the truck. It was raining very hard. I had to park a good ways from the bank because of the truck and trailer, I had to park in the middle of the parking lot behind the laundromat. I was actully afraid to get out and walk across the parking lot there was so much lighting everywhere. Hearing reports of two lightning fatalities in my area just this past week didn't help either. Florida...lightning capital of the world..sure was!!.

I got impatient and decided to make a mad dash after about 10 minutes. The rain wasn't going to let up. The storm cloud had parked itself right ontop of Key Largo uleashing an electrical maelstrom.
I was a steppin and fetchin across that parking lot lemme tell ya. Just as I got in the protective covering to the entryway to the bank.. WAAAPANG!!!! another really close strike and sharp crack.

I really LOVE when it thunders like that.

I stood at the ATM making my deposit and when the receipt came out I wasn't thrilled when I saw what the bank balance was. There should be more money than that in there I thought. I'll print out a statement. Naturally a person was behind me wanting to use the ATM, I get real impatient when people fart around and dilly dally at those things so deposit made I ended the transaction. I'll let this person go and do what they need to do and then go back to the machine and get printout as they take a few minutes.

Several people had gathered in the shelter of the buildings overhang. The rain was coming straight down in a torrential torrent, the parking lot turning into a lake.. Lake Waldorf us locals call it hence the name of the shopping plaze is Waldorf Plaza. It always floods in a downpour and they can never get it fixed.
Waiting for the ATM to come available again I looked around. Above the bank are some offices, legal offices or something. Through the windows I see three firefighters dressed in full Turnout Gear. Say What!! as I shook my head.
My vision a short while ago confirmed now, I'm aming lightning bolts it seems. Okay this is way too awesome. I see my abilities are coming back.
I wondered why firefighters were on the 2nd floor. The bank was full of people, people were standing in the doorway and inside the bank like nothing was going on.
Maybe the guys were training or something I thought. I could see through the bank to the rear door where the fire truck was parked with lights flashing. That wasn't there when I was in my truck several minutes ago.
Firefighters had come down the stairs.. oh good I'll get to get a gander at some guys in full Turnout gear I thought.

I proceeded to the ATM aqquiring the statement I needed. Scanning it over quickly I could see the transactions which my partner told me about the night prior. Okay that's cool just wanted to know where some money went and that was solved now.
I had nothing to do but wait under the overhang for the downpour to let up some so I could make a dash back to the truck.
A large, rotund woman dressed in gray tshirt, black shorts and sandals..typical Fl Keys garb ever so casually walked through the downpour, purse in one hand, her head held downward hair and tshirt getting soaked and paying a no never mind to the loud peels of thunder.

Oh Boy!!! she's a "Keyster" I thought. That's a local yocal word for a very laid back, nonchalant Florida Keys person. By now the firefighters three of them were standing inside the bank. They looked as though they were talkin to one of the bank folk behind the seated desk area, smiling and talking. Coudn't have been anything major as they seemed pretty laid back, the long line of folk inside pay a no never mind to the firegighters. This is the Florida Keys and we stare hurricanes in the face so anything less than that usually doesn't get noticed or raise an eyebrow.

That's how laid back things can be here.

I had nothing better to do than people watch and watch the rain. I must have stood a good 15-20 minutes.
My 3 clients grouped together on one street were but a 1/2 mile from the bank and I knew it was raining there. The other client slated for that day was another mile and a half down the road apiece and pretty sure the storm was that far down also. Keys weather is so weird. It can literally dump rain on one side of the road and not the other. A storm like this and you drive a mile and the sun can be out!!!. I could see the delineation between the storm and clear skies just a few miles away.

The rain slackened off some and I briskly walked to my truck. All these clients will have to be postponed until the rain stops and it dries up some. I snaked my way around and through the subdivision to the clients. The rain was light to moderate and the skies were getting lighter, frequency of the lightnig dropping off and thunder becoming more distant. I sat outside of clients house looking at the 3 properties I had to do through the windshield. No way was I gonna be able to do these properties until it dried up some.
Truck radio playing the local radio station of 80's music and that gargantuan radio tower now a 1/4 mile the other direction got hit again!!!! knocking the station off the air. Moment later a computerized voice did some countdown and a station identifier "This is Star 102.1 FM" in a very spaced, digitized voice and the music once again was playin. Who says lightning doesn't strike twice??.

The downpour had got to commencin once again.

Okay let's drive down to next client and see what conditions are there. Getting onto and off the highway this day was a feat in itself. Traffic was just absoluetely vicious!!. Being it's a divided highway just crossing a north or south bound lane to get goin in the direction you wanna go can be challenging. It's like this during peak winter season.. NEVER summer excpet Memorial, 4th of July and Labor Day weekend.

Patience is short to non existent for me when it comes to driving, other drivers and anything that has to deal with waiting in line. It was taking forever to get onto the highway yesterday, folk were driving totally stupid. My aggravation level was rising.
BEEEEEEP... My fuel light went on. Well it's raining so I got nothin better to do but go to a gas station and get diesel fuel. The gas station sits in the middle of the divided highway. I approached the gas station from the Southbound lane. Sure as shit!!! not only was somebody at the pump but the car was facing the wrong way or so it appeared to me and another car behind it. If I sat there and waited my turn I would block that person from getting out, Assclown!! I thought.
The pump on the otherside was the wrong way for me and I didn't want to try to squeeze trailer between building and pumps and then have to wrassle a long rubber hose up and over the truck bed to the tank.
I'll try the pumps on the northbound side. Jesus H!!!! a car there facin the wrong way and a big pickup with a big ole boat facing the other. Okay I'll sit off to the side and wait. Some old folk were trying to back the car up to the pump. The guy was lurching the car forward, reverse. Nearly hit the dumpster in front of him and nearly backed into the guys fueling a boat behind them. Good Lord!!! this is a disaster waiting to happen!. The old man lurched forward and backed up bout near takin the fuel pump out!!. These folk shouldn't be allowed to drive! I thought. They are a danger to others. His wife was just sitting in the car totally oblivious to the whole thing. I felt kinda bad fer them and realized he was probably tryin to do his best with his car and someday that might be me.
He worked the credit card and gas pump alright so he knew what he was doing.
La da da dee, La da da.... I sat and sat and sat about another 10 minutes. The old man fueled up and finally the boat was done fueling. I was good to go.

Fueled my tank and off I went. I had a client several miles further south that called the day prior. She wanted her weeds sprayed with Roundup and some leaves cleaned up and she wanted it done like yesterday!!. I told her I'd see if I could squeeze her in on Friday. I looked south and it was blue sky and knew the weather would be good down that way. I was rained out on 4 properties so I commenced to calling her on my cell.
As eager as she was to have it done she didn't want me to come. She was afraid it would rain and wash the weed killer off the weeds. I knew it wasn't going to rain down there but you can't tell an 80 year old, headstrong woman that. Well if it rains I'll just come back. She told me to come on Monday, okay fine.

I was heading south on Overseas Highway when I called her. Good thing she told me not to come. I had gone about 1 mile from the gas station after dealing with more traffic in the turnabouts. Suddenly I saw a line of cars, trucks and boats just creepin. Shit!!! backed up humanity!!! I really can't deal with waiting in lines in traffic.
I saw a local convenience store/gas station situated in between north and south boud lanes. I cut through the parking lot and again had to wait to get in the northbound lane. Oh now this totally blows!! an endless parade of cars heading north. It was 12:10 p.m. and the day was pretty much shot. It was still raining lightly. I debated whether or not to call it a day and just go home. Everything would be wet, sodden and hard to do the job not to mention it would be a hell hole steambath once the noon day tropical sun came out. Alot of rain dumped in that period of time.

Okay I thought I can start the 3 clients by 1 p.m. and still get em done and be outta there by 5 p.m. I opted to give the weather until 1 p.m. to make or break. I wound up in the same shopping plaza, parking behind the laundromat exactly where I was but but an hour or so prior. I thought I'll go into the Dollar Store and poke around, head over the Walgreens and poke around there. Don't have squat for money to buy anything but it's something to do nonetheless to pass time.

Gathered a few $1 items at dollar store. I could see the sun starting to get brighter outside. I got in line and guess what???... a lady ahead of me had a shopping cart crammed full of little itty, bitty hair thingies. I reckon she done cleaned out the store. Barretts, pony tail bands, hair combs, clips...you name it. Either she's got OCD or gonna sell em. OH!!! this is going to take fucking forever I thought!!!. I had nothing better to do, It was still raining.

Finally, Oh so finally my turn came. I purchased two cans of mixed nuts, a couple packets of 20 cent seeds and a $1 squirt gun to keep our noisy, biting, slurping, scratching dogs in check. I was hungry so I opened the can of nuts and started to scarf em down as I left the store. I commenced to steppin and fetchin over to Walgreens Pharmacy crossing and avoiding the flooded parking lot best I could in front of the bank as I chomped on cashew nuts. The sun was coming out now. I'll give it a bit more time and let things dry I thought, rain had stopped now.
Purchased a few little things in Walgreens. Rain stopped, sun out and no more on the way and it being 12:59 p.m.I decided to drive over and get busy on the 3 clients.

When I arrived everything was still dripping but the sun shining brightly now and the steam rising off the asphalt roads. I got outta the truck and there wasn't even the slightest hint of any kind of air movement. I knew with this sun it would't be long before it reached past 90 degrees and with nearly 100% humidity???...Oh God!!! this is gonna really bite ass!!!.
I unloaded the tools and equipment I needed from the trailer. I noticed it was hard to breathe the air so sodden with moisture, steamy and getting hot. I already was sweating profusely, I wasn't none too happy.
I trimmed the clients water sodden hedges followed by raking up the clippings and some dead fallen leaves and trimmed som dead palm frond off her trees around her pool. I had been there about 1/2 hour now and noticed the road surfaces were barely drying and clouds of steam rising. My tshirt totally drenched I thought of just going home. It's so dam wet it's gonna be hard to cut grass, blow leaves off two large pea gravel yards.

I went to truck to get a drink, change shirt and towel dry off. I thought Wednesday was bad???... This sucked the big one!!
The sun was blasting down relentlessly and I couldn't even dry myself the air was so moisture sodden. I noticed some more clouds building and the blow off from the thunderstorm clouds would come over and cover the sun. If I could hold out until then. Once that burning orb was behind some clouds it would be more tolerable.

The sun went in indeed and I was thankful for that however it being so awfully oppressive it did nothing to make it feel cooler or me sweat less. I mowed the yard and not only was my shirt totally soaked again but my shorts were literally dripping also. The sun I so cursed also dries out my thsirts that I have to frequently change. I brought 3 changes with me and usually just recycle them through the day. Change #2 and I tried to blot my shorts dry with big bath towels I carry with me. I was just plain miserable!!. If only a breeze would blow it would make all the difference. HUH!!! no such luck!!.

Okay the mowing yard is done and now onto the blowing yards. I just strap a blower to my back and slowly walk back and forth blowing the leaves to back of the properties and into the woods. That shouldn't be too bad I thought. Wrong!!!.

I was sweating like a whore in church!!, it was hard to breath the dank, oppressive tropical air even though it was heavily overcast by this time. I started to grow impatient with the blowing. The wet leaves were hard to blow and I was getting aggravated but right good. My legs and ass were getting severely chaffed as my shorts were dripping to the point my workboots were soaked inside and I could feel water sloshing in my shoes...this just from sweat!!!. This totally fucking sucks!!
Now I'm walking funny because my ass cheeks and thighs are stinging and smarting like a sonofabitch. Not a pretty picture I'm sure that I'm painting for ya'll but I tell it like it is.

I was finally done with the blowing and had to spray the weeds yet and then groom the front yards with a pea rock rake. Every step I took was painful now but I got the spraying done. Then I started to groom the pea gravel with a pea rock rake. My hands so wet I could hardly hold onto the aluminum handle to pull and push the gravel.

I was done!!! Glory be to God!!! I was done!!! Only took me 5½ hours that should have been 3½ hours.
I locked up trailer, put on a dry shirt for the drive home. I decided to stop and get a 6 pack of some fancy/micro brewed beer and have that along with my Bud Lights. I love the taste of beer so I like to buy and try different kinds. I bought a Black and Tan, I wanted an Irish Stout and thought I'll do that one next week.

I again had to wait forever to get on the highway but I was homeward bound excpet for the little side trip I had to make at a liquor store near our house. I could have purchased the beer in the grocery store but I didn't want to deal with people, lines nor walk around an air conditioned store with totally sweat sodden shorts. However I so welcomed any kind of coolness at this point. I knew we needed some groceries but I could go shopping on Saturday when my mood was better and I was dry with clean clothes.
So I go to the local liquor store about a mile and half north of our house. They have the cheapest liquor/beer prices in town. Well that cheapest modality cost them. The roll down hurricane shutters were drawn, parking lot empty. The place only open for about 1 year had gone tits up!!

Geat! now I HAVE to go to the grocery store where I didn't want to go in the firt fucking place!!. Either that or just grab a case of Bud Light from the convenience store next door to our house after dinner.

No.. I wanted my special beer. My small little treat to myself and I was looking forward to all day and Friday night. I was really agitated at this point. All this testing of my patience every which way I turned all day was accumulating and I started becoming very negative, fonchin, fumin and a cussin at everything.
Pulled into the grocery store parking lot and did a little attitude adjustment on myself.
I hobbled into the store. Chaffed thighs and ass cheeks aren't fun. My leather chain wallet even chaffed my butt cheeks so I'm walking like I got a load of shit in my britches, my hand in my back right pocket holding the wallet and material away from my butt cheeks. What a sight that must have been!! but I didn't care.

I decided to get a container of salad greens for salads over the weekend. I started to browse what beer I wanted this week and suddenly I had to piss like a race horse!!! and like Now!! I shuffled off quickly to the men's room did my thing and came back to the beer aisle. Picked out my beer which was a Black and Tan and proceeded ot the checkout. I decided the Irish stout could be next weeks choice.

I sure as hell didn't want to stand in line so having 2 items I opted for the self checkout. I've become quite adept to using that self checkout contraption for just a few items. Wouldn't ya know!!! I go and mash the "Finish and Pay" button on the touch screen. This loud electronic beeping alarm goes off and this electronic woman's voice says "You have purchased an age restricted item, please take receipt to pay station to have age verified and to complete this purchase"

Well I blew a gasket!!! and when I mean I blew, I blew!!!. A string of expletives belched forth from my mouth that would make a sailor blush. The clerk comes over to help me. He says... you have to wait for me, wait fer me in a thick spanish accent.

That word "wait" mashed my last button.

"I DON'T WANNA FUCKING WAIT!!!,IF I WANTED TO FUCKING WAIT I WOULD HAVE GONE TO A HUMAN CASHIER AND STOOD IN FUCKING LINE, THESE GOD DAMNED SELF CHECKOUTS ARE WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT!!"

Okay now I'm being the person and thing I despise most in life and that's an Asshole.
I thought to myself "Reality Check" and my mind quietly responded back.. Fuck You. I was just too heated at this point but quickly realized I had to diss the asshole part of me.
Perhaps this medication I started to help with my energy is making me switch phase to manic. This is what I get like when full blown manic episode. I haven't seen this in me for quite some time and I could feel an internal agitation.

The clerk hands me the receipt and escorts me to the service desk in order to complete the transaction. GREAT!!! 4 people deep and I have to wait. He could see I was extremely pissed. He looked at me and said "Here's your receipt and I need to see your ID"

What the Fuck!!! I thought and gave him a look from hell. I then realized... I'm 44 years old, my beard is turning gray, I've got lines and wrinkles around my eyes now and I just been asked for my ID!! I haven't been asked that in 23 years!!!. I could see he was smiling and I coudln't resist and caved in and laughed... "I'll gladly show you my ID!!! I haven't been asked for that in years"
Suffice it to say the guy diffused me and got me to laugh. By now only one person was ahead me. I made my purchase and left. I woulda been out long before if I stood in a human cashier line.

I got into my truck and drove the 1/2 mile home. My parking spot in front of house was taken!!! neighbor lady was sitting there looking at her mail. She saw that I was home and drove away. I had to go around the block so I could get the truck and trailer pulled up along our fence.

My partner already got to hear this story last night when I came home and detail by detail told him what happened. Showered, fixed and ate dinner and started to dive into those Black and Tans. They sure were right good. A few Bud Lights throw'd in,
my usual Friday night chat on phone with a friend was short this week but still fun nonetheless. I opted to head over to Yahoo and go into private conference with some online friends.
I hadn't hung out here on Friday Night Chat Party in a coons age. I know my one friend had been really wanting me to come on FNCP.

Finished out the night with some good conversation about a new music group he's starting, talked about tatoo's and my writing along with other things other folk we discussing.

3 a.m. I heard one of the dogs barfing in the bedroom. Shoo'd him out he back door right quick like. Cleaned up the mess and decided I'm going to bed while I still can keep this peace inside me and keep my sanity.

Tommorrow will be another day.

JD